If Only

The word “IF” is one of the most important, potentially powerful, yet dangerous words in the English language today. Using the word in the phrase “if only” is the dangerous part. You might be wondering how in the world can this tiny two letter word be dangerous.

In case you didn’t know, the word “IF” also creates the results you have in your life.

How do you use the word “IF”? Are you saying to yourself “If only I was smarter. If only I had the courage to stand up for myself” ?  If Only is a dangerous phrase for you to use because it causes you to feel inferior, undeserving, and afraid.

How’s that working for you? I ask you that in humor because I used to be full of “If Onlys”. Mine included: “If only I’d said NO, I would be pregnant at 17”. “If only I knew how to stand up for myself”. “If only I wasn’t embarrassed to tell my family about my abusive relationship”.  Those were causing a lot of, not so good, results in my life!

“If Only” is Dangerous!

Because you use it as an excuse to stay out of trouble, not be held accountable or responsible. It allows you to be “victim” to life. I got tired of living that life! If you are tired of living that life, you might want to know what to do about it. Right?! When you have low self esteem, you are allowing life to live you instead of you living life.  That might not make a lot of sense at this point, but you will understand better once I share the solution with you.

This tiny two letter word “IF” also has unlimited possibilities that can change eternity. Which means, you can change your life with the word “IF”. Once I realized every time you use the word “IF”, it coincides with the word “Choices”. You have a choice every time to make a decision. You make decisions every nano second of the day.

So, what do you do about it, you ask? You SWITCH! I was in an abusive relationship (because allowed myself to be). I can remember the exact moment I SWITCHED! I was in a precarious situation with bodily harm about to be done upon me. In a split second, I switched! I decided to do something different and be something different.

I CHOSE TO STOP BEING AFRAID!

In that exact moment “HE” knew I had changed. He gently put me down and never touched me again. My world had changed because I CHOSE different. I stopped being a victim and started living life instead of life living me.

Let me back up a minute. You’re asking, “HOW do I switch?” How about you stop the “If Only” routine and say “Wouldn’t it be Wonderful IF”? How does that feel? Now I wasn’t going around saying this phrase, however, I was imagining a better life for myself. When you switch your thoughts and images, you are retraining your brain. The more you switch from the “If Only” phrase, the more you are retraining your brain and more likely you are to make better choices.

“Wouldn’t it be Wonderful IF” Will Change Your Life!

Every time you switch from “If Only to Wouldn’t it be Wonderful If”, you are retraining your brain. As you retrain your brain for the positive, you will start to notice more positive results in your life. You’ll start having days that flow with ease, creating more peace and happiness in your life! All you have to do is be aware of the opportunities that show up for you and do something different with them. It’s your choice!

Menopause: A Vicious Trick by Mother Nature

Menopause: How to Start Feeling Like Yourself Again. An article by skinnymom.com According to the Mayo Clinic, menopause is, “the permanent end of menstruation and fertility, defined as occurring 12 months after your last menstrual period.” According to women currently experiencing menopause, it’s actually an evil and viscous trick by Mother Nature. One in which your body almost instantly becomes unrecognizable, as you spend the next several years fighting mood swings and hot flashes, while praying to God that the medication you’re taking to help convince your body it’s actually 33 again, doesn’t give you breast cancer.

As unpleasant as menopause is, it’s a fact of life that every woman will eventually have to deal with.

So the question is, is there a way to get through menopause and still feel ‘normal’? While the idea of, ‘normal’ may vary from woman to woman, a study published through Harvard Health, shared a few ideas around dealing with the symptoms of menopause that just might help you feel like your old self again.

Hot flashes: Although hot flashes can begin before menopause is in full swing, this horrible side-effect can last anywhere from 3-5 years. Symptoms include pink or flushed face, an elevated body temperature, moderate to extreme sweating, night sweats and sleep disturbances. While there is no sure way to rid yourself of hot flashes completely, the following approaches are suggested to help alleviate:

  • Avoid triggers such as hot beverages, spicy foods, hot rooms, alcohol and stressful situations.
  • Dress in layers. This allows you to remove clothing when you become overheated and put them back on once your body has cooled.
  • Sleep with an ice pack under your pillow.
  • Keep your bedroom a few degrees cooler with a fan or portable air conditioner.
  • Reduce stress by doing yoga at night or performing 15 minutes of meditation before bed.

Queen Bee Biz’s take on this: We agree with what skinnymom.com is telling you to do. Along with that we have meditations available, plus other alternative solutions to deal with menopause.   Click here for those solutions!

Mood Changes: Because the estrogen in your body is decreasing, the lining of you vagina becomes thin, creating less natural lubrication in the area. The increased dryness can not only be uncomfortable in day-to-day situations, leading to irritation and inflammation, it can also make sexual intercourse quite unpleasant. To treat vaginal dryness, the following is suggested.

  • Use a vaginal lubricant regularly to treat dryness.
  • Use a vaginal moisturizer such as Replens, to help keep dryness at bay.
  • Use estrogen creams, rings and tablets, to stop dryness before it begins.

In addition to regular treatment, studies also suggest engaging in regular sexual stimulation to maintain vaginal health as well as elasticity. Queen Bee Biz’s take on this: I was excited to hear about this treatment.

Mood swings and depression: Due to the extreme shift in hormones, many women experience mood swings and depression. Try incorporating these habits to alleviate symptoms:

  • Get regular sleep.
  • Add exercise to your daily schedule; cardio and strength.
  • Add yoga to alleviate stress.
  • Incorporate herbal supplements such as St. John’s Wort to help give balance to mood swings.
  • Request a mild antidepressant from your doctor to raise serotonin levels and alleviate depressed feelings.

Queen Bee Biz’s take on this: Exercise is crucial during this time of your life! Vicki and Cheri exercise regularly and definitely notice the difference when they don’t. Even if all you do is walk for 30 minutes a day, it will help you in the long run. We are NOT fond of antidepressants, because we feel you can “retrain your brain” by following our Closing the Happiness Gap program. Click here.

Weight Gain: While it seems as though weight gain is a lifelong issue for most women, fighting the, ‘middle aged spread,’ during menopause is almost inevitable. To help you get your sexy back, here are a few suggested tips:

Add or increase exercise to your daily schedule.

  • Focus on cardio exercise; walking, running, swimming, to help prevent fat accumulation around the mid-section.
  • Eat healthy. Avoid processed foods, excess refined carbohydrates and excessive amounts of caffeine and alcohol.

Dry skin and hair: No matter what our age, as women we always like to keep our hair and skin in check. However, a decline in estrogen often causes both hair and skin to become a bit dry and dull. To combat, try the following:

  • Protect skin from the sun by using sun blocks, hats and protective clothing.
  • Use moisturizer daily to hydrate skin.
  • Use deep moisturizing conditioners regularly and avoid the overuse of heat styling.
  • Use the newest oils, both for skin and hair, to restore gloss and radiance.

Queen Bee Biz’s take on this: Your food intake creates most of the results you receive. Cheri had a heart attack in 2012 and keeps her blood thin, cholesterol in a good range, and blood pressure under control with her food combinations and supplements. She does NOT take any drugs! It can be done. Eating mostly plant based and organic will provide your body with the proper nutrients it needs to function to the best of it’s ability.

There is no, ‘cure’ for menopause and certainly no way to stop it from coming, you can still live a normal and happy life.

You may feel as though Menopause is a viscous trick by Mother Nature, however, by incorporating some of these tips, you can, at the very least, give a shout out to Mother Nature letting her know that she hasn’t quite gotten the best of you yet!

Queen Bee Biz’s take on this: Vicki and Cheri are committed to support women before, during, and after menopause. Mother Nature is not playing a trick on you! It is part of life. We’ve created specific programs containing the tools and techniques you need to deal with menopause. Check them out by clicking here.

We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the comment section below!

CLICK HERE for your 5 Fear-Free Facts to Stop Being Frustrated with Your Midlife Body!

Cheri Hickman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Vicki Kallman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for 24/7 happiness.

CHG #3 Live Life During Menopause!

 

What am I doing with my life?!

You may believe your life is “just what it is”. That’s only because, you’re living in patterns you created based on your beliefs.   I can relate! I call it “letting life live you”. Unless you have a desire to change, life will keep living you. You can live life the way you desire once you let go of the emotions that created the beliefs and patterns you have now.

Some of those patterns work for you and some of them don’t. When you’re going through menopause, you’re more likely to become aware of how unhappy you are with certain areas of your life. You start asking yourself, “What am I doing with my life?” This is totally normal! You’re one of many women who have been allowing life to live them.

You can change your unwanted patterns!

Beliefs and patterns are created from emotions you had as a result of specific life experiences. (Mostly before the age of 8!)  You may not know what life experience caused the belief and pattern, so we are here to help you discover the original emotion which caused the pattern. We do this through our simple, unique techniques.  We are sharing one with you in this post, so you can start to enjoy your life!

Vicki wrote about “Rose Colored Glasses” in a previous post, where she shared an important exercise to “retrain your brain”.  The Sweet Spot Touch is a releasing technique for you to let go of all those emotions keeping you from “living life”.

Release those unwanted patterns with the Sweet Spot Touch

You can live the life you desire, when you choose to change what you are doing. You know the definition of insanity – “Doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results”. Our “Closing the Happiness Gap-Sweet Success Package” is a resource you can take advantage of to do something different.

Experience our Bonus Sweet Spot Touch Video from our Closing the Happiness Gap Sweet Success Package and live life as you desire. Remove those unwanted beliefs and patterns that are causing all your anxiety, frustration, and sadness, so you can start enjoying the life you deserve!

Click here for your FREE video!

We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the comment section below!

Cheri Hickman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz.  As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Vicki Kallman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause.  They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for  24/7 happiness.



CLICK HERE for your 5 Fear-Free Facts to Stop Being Frustrated with Your Midlife Body!

Quieting the Bitch! – Beliefs and Patterns Influence Behavior

Your life experiences create your beliefs and patterns.

Patterns, beliefs and customs influence behavior, which affect your dueling brain.  Change your beliefs and you change your world. Let’s STOP THIS MADNESS! Let’s quiet the Bitch!

Discover how to quiet the Bitch and awaken the Queen by retraining your brain. Stop focusing on what’s not working (negative thoughts) and start focusing on what’s working (positive thoughts). Wow, what if it really does work? (It does.) In the Post “Your Dueling Brains are Hijacking Your Happiness”, we shared a few tips on how to change your thoughts so you can create better results in your life.

Awareness is the first key to changing your thoughts.

It takes practice to implement this first step. I still catch myself thinking of what I don’t want. At least now I catch myself and can switch the thought to what I do want. Your brain is probably the most powerful tool you have. Learn how to master your brain and you will have mastered life. I believe there are only a very few people who are really good at this. You don’t have to be perfect, just keep practicing and you will get to experience more peace and joy than you might believe is possible.

Now we share a simple, empowering exercise you can use immediately to awaken the Queen! It is as easy as committing to 5 minutes a day to practice the “3 Happy Things a Day” exercise. Research reveals, after two weeks of doing this exercise, people become immediately happier and it is a lasting happiness. Yeah!

What is it you ultimately want in life?

If you come down to the core of it all, most people will say “to be happy”. You’ve had many years of influence that causes you to be unhappy in certain areas of your life. This is what creates your beliefs and patterns. By the time you are 8 years old you’ve formed up to 85% of all your beliefs! This means you are operating as an adult from the beliefs of an 8 year old.

The Bitch tends to take over and you may not even know why.

Practicing these simple exercises we’ve given you will put you on the path to quieting the Bitch and awakening the Queen.  There is no good reason for you to have your happiness decline. We’re here to make sure you have what you need to become happier in all areas of your life,

We’re sharing our first session of our Closing The Happiness Gap Sweet Success Package with you, so you can change your patterns, beliefs and customs! Click here for your free session!

We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the comment section below!

Cheri Hickman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Vicki Kallman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for 24/7 happiness.



What’s Hijacking Your Happiness?

Dueling Brains Hijack Your Happiness!

Dueling brain, what’s that?! The Amygdala (unconscious reactions – fight or flight and looking for problems) and the Pre-frontal Cortex (reasoning – problem solver) portions of the brain are in a battle. This battle (looking for problems, looking for solutions, looking for what’s wrong) is messing with your happiness and causing you great stress. In the last 40 years, even though you have had more opportunities (due to the Equal Rights Movement), you are unable to emotionally handle all of them and still be in a balanced state.  Simply, your plate is full

Menopause is a period of time (Like a good 10 years worth of time!) when your thoughts and moods seem to take control of you. The simplest events push your buttons! Then you feel embarrassed or upset because you don’t now why you got upset in the first place. This is the battle of the dueling brains.

When you are in the battle, you are the Bitch.

The happy Queen shows up when the war is over. Research tells us about how you train your brain to create happiness or not. So how do you control your retrain your brain?  We have several ways we’ll share with you on accomplishing this feat. Our 3 free videos support you in understanding what is happening to cause the struggles you experience. In video 3 we share a very simple exercise to get you started on a path to retrain your brain. Until then, see below for a few points to put into practice.

This constant battle you are in, before, during, and after menopause, creates the declining happiness in women. We’re here to tell you there is hope! You can retrain your brain to create happiness in your life. Your thoughts are key.

Bonus – From our Closing the Happiness Gap Sweet Success Package
Suggestions to take into consideration:

  • Be aware of what you are thinking. Are you having a negative thought or a positive thought?
  • If you are having a negative thought (that’s ok, we all do), switch it to a positive thought. I put a big red X across the thought and change the thought to what I want instead of what I don’t want. This doesn’t mean you think to yourself “I want this traffic to stop being so congested”. That’s still a negative thought. You are focusing on what you don’t want.  It means “I love it when the traffic is running smoothly.” or “I’m glad I can enjoy my drive.”
  • There is one more key to this. You get to FEEL as though you already have what you want. The feeling with the thought is what initiates the positive change.

We’re determined to help women STOP the MADNESS

and increase their happiness by sharing what we’ve discovered works. Practicing our simple, unique techniques has given us the opportunity to experience what you can also have in your life! Join us on this journey to create balance, peace, and joy! Happiness is all we want for everyone. You can jump start this journey by enjoying our FREE session of the Closing the Happiness Gap Sweet Success Package! Click here for your free session!

References:
The Happiness Advantage
Work of Professors Richard Easterlin and Anke Plagnol
Huntington Post article by Marcus Buckingham

We would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.

Cheri and Vicki are your Queen Bees and co-founders of Queen Bee Biz.  As Ambassadors for Happiness, they support amazing women over 40 to be emotional ready to have fun and Bee Happy before, during, and after the “Big Change”. 4 Weeks to Muzzle the Menopause Mess!  Click here to show you how