How you answer these two Life Choice questions will be the difference between a happy in the second half of your life or not. It will be the difference between being having amazing relationships or not. It will be the difference of being in shape and healthy or not. Basically, your answers to these questions will make a positive or negative outcome in everything you wish to achieve in your menopausal years.
Here the two most powerful Life Choice questions you can ask yourself to create a happy, solid foundation in your life.
What do I want?
Yep, these two simple questions can sometimes be the hardest questions to answer. When I coach my clients, these are the first two questions I ask them. Do you know what the number one answer I hear is? “I don’t know.” They want to be coached to succeed in love, health, or life menopause but they do not know what they want. In contrast, the clients who share with me exactly what they want and why, by the end of their coaching experience, they have achieved it or close to achieving it. The results are really as different as day and night. Understanding the importance of having the answers to these two questions, is the first step to creating a strong foundation for happiness and an amazing second adulthood.
Why is it so hard to answer those two questions? I have a theory. First, many of us have had our parents, teachers, friends and/or society tell us “not to want” early on in our lives. Remember when you wanted that favorite expensive toy for your birthday or Christmas, you told your parents or siblings what you wanted and they answered, “That is too expensive – what else do you want that is not so pricey?” How did you feel? Maybe you felt guilty for wanting the expensive toy and felt like you did something wrong. Result, you ended up accepting what you did not want. I like to call it “settling”. After many experiences similar to this, you just stop wanting. Why? Because you won’t get it. In conclusion, we stop trusting our inner voices who are telling us what we want and desire. We just turn down the volume and stop listening. So sad.
Now if you are unable to know what you want, then you will not know why you want it. Let’s take for example. You are over 40 and single and you are telling your friends you want a serious loving relationship. A friend then asks you, What do you want in this relationship? Your mind goes blank. Then your friend asks you. Why do you want this relationship? Again, nothing. What do you think your chances are you will be in a serious loving relationship anytime soon? Have you ever had something like this happen to you? You can apply this scenario to any dream or desire you have had. Sadly, many of us are out of practice in knowing what we want and why. We just do not know where to start.
Let’s get back to the two questions. What do you want and why? Remember answering these questions are the first steps anyone should take when the way to being happy. They are the bricks and mortar for a strong foundation which to build your successes in anything we do.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every women would start to desire and dream again!?!
I believe everyone understands, at some level, our dreams and desires do not come from “thinking”. Dreams and desires come from our hearts. They are ignited from within. You can feel yourself expand, when you have one of these desires ignite. Anything is possible! You feel connected to the truth of who you are. Here is where your why comes in. It has to be strong enough to continue to fuel your desire when your limiting beliefs or anyone wants to stop you from continuing on. By the way, one of your strongest whys can be – Because I know that I know that I know this why I want to do this! When I have this kind of “intuitive why“, watch out world here I come. This why has always powered me to happiness. If you don’t have a powerful why, your foundation for happiness will easily crumble.
Wise Wonderful Women~~Let’s build a strong foundation for your future successes and happiness. Here are a few steps you can take everyday to strengthen your “desire and why” muscles again, so you can begin to trust and listen to your heart and follow your truth to love. It may feel a little strange in the beginning because those wants and why muscles might have atrophied a bit.
As Dr. Christiane Northrup says, ” There is wisdom in menopause.” It is time to embrace it!
After 45 Life Choice Exercise:
Take at least 10-15 minutes in the morning and ask yourself, What do I want for the second half of my life? Take the time to visualize it.
Then ask yourself, WHY? Then get quiet and listen to your answer. Do it over and over again until you feel yourself expand to feel anything is possible.
End your “desire and why” session with gratitude for allowing your desire to be fueled by your empowering why to success and happiness!
When you go through this process you might discover, you really do not want what you thought you wanted or your why did not give you the power you needed to stay motivated. It is OK. It might not be the right time for you to take on this task or you might have uncovered a want or dream which is in more alignment with you at this time. Be patient.
Please keep asking these two Life Choice questions. Build your happiness foundation with what you want, launch your dreams and desires by having a strong why and land amongst the stars of success! Life doesn’t end after menopause- it is just the beginning! Cheri and Vicki are here with Menopause Happiness Wisdom to support you in this journey!
We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the comment section below!
Vicki Kallman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Cheri Hickman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. We take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for 24/7 happiness.