Avoid the Money Trap – Video 1 of 3 Tips for Happy Holidays

Happy Holiday Tip #1
Avoid spending what you do not have.
Get creative and have fun doing something different.
Give yourself the gift of de-stressing your holiday by creating a gift budget and sticking to it.
Stay happy before, during and after the holidays!

We would love to hear from you, please leave a comment in the comment section below!

Cheri and Vicki are your Queen Bees and co-founders of Queen Bee Biz. As Ambassadors for Happiness, they support amazing women over 40 to be emotional ready to have fun and bee happy before during and after the “Big Change”. Go from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here to show you how!

The Not So Fun Guilt Cycle

Let’s look at the emotion called guilt. It is an interesting emotion. This emotion really shows it’s nasty head during your menopause years. The result ~~ it can really derail our happiness and joy during the second adulthood!

Why Do I Feel Guilty?

  • Why do we feel guilty for the craziest reasons?

Like when a love one gets sick and passes on,  when we eat too much, when we sleep in or when we win a competition and your friend does not. First of all, humans are judging machines- we judge everything all day. Right? or Wrong? Right ?or Wrong? all day. When we judge them to be wrong, we fear we will do it again, so we decide to beat ourselves up and feel guilty.  Are we having fun, yet?

Please put the stick down! Stop using feeling guilty as a way to stop feeling a certain way or doing something you have judge as bad.  Has feeling guilty ever stop you from doing the act or thinking a thought?  Has it ever stopped you from feeling a certain way? I once heard it said,  “Feeling guilty gives you permission to do it again.” Have you felt guilty after eating a cookie when you were on a diet? Did feeling guilty stop you from eating another one right away?! It has never stopped me! HA!

Does feeling guilty have any value? Again, our mind wants you to think guilt helps you from repeating the behavior which you are feeling guilty about. This is our mind telling us a lie. We must become free from that prison of the mind and no longer listen to it’s lies. We must take action and free ourselves from believing these lies.

The first step to stopping the “Guilt Cycle” is to start becoming aware of your guilty feelings as they arrive. Once you become aware of the guilty feelings, notice what happens next. You feel guilty, then you fear what will happen. Now you start beating yourself up because you feel you are not good enough which cause you great pain. So now you are experiencing guilt, fear, and pain! Are you ready to stop this insanity!?

How much Joy can you be experiencing, if you are stuck in this “Guilt Cycle”? I have had several clients who have been stuck here. Where does it come from? Most of the time it comes from our religious and cultural beliefs.  These victim beliefs have used guilt to control you and others. It is time to free your mind from guilt, so you can experience your truth and joy!

The solution to the Guilty or Not Guilty Dilemma is to let go of the guilt, forgive it, and forgive yourself and the feelings. You are wise and wonderful- it is time to own your power before, during and after menopause.

“Guilt is a self-imposed prison. Only you have the keys to free yourself.”

I challenge you to stop judging yourself and your feelings, get rid of the guilty feelings by letting them go and forgiving them and visualize yourself having more joy and success in your life! Our Bee Happy Online Course will support you in releasing and forgiving guilt.

Vicki Kallman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Cheri Hickman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for  24/7 happiness.

Vicki’s Journey to JOY!

Are you ready to start your journey to joy? I was not ready to begin my journey until I was 46 years old, my Peri-menopause time. It was the perfect timing for me. My youngest was 17 years old. My husband had retired from the Air Force. He had been working for Federal Express as a pilot for about 2 years. I felt like I was a little bit lost. I had been a military wife and a mother of three kids- my identity was my family.

At that time, I had I tried a few MLM to start a business on my own but that was not it. I wanted something but did not know what. Soon my son would be out of the house and off to college. What would life be like for me?  My loving husband was back flying and living his dream but what was my dream? I spent nearly 25 years supporting my husband’s dream and my children’s dreams. Was it time for my dreams- did I have a dream which did not involved with being a Wife or Mother. I felt an edginess in my life, I knew I needed a change.

With my MLM businesses, I discovered, in order, to grow a successful business one needed to dream about being successful and why I wanted the success.  I learned “what you think about is what you bring about”, the Universal Law of Attraction. The one good thing that came from these businesses was the personal growth training I was introduced to while learning the business. I discovered I did not care to do the business but I was excited about my own personal growth. I learned successful people set goals and their beliefs allowed success or doomed them to failure. I, also, experienced, life-changing tools to help me break out of the old non-productive beliefs to create new empowering ones.

That was just the beginning. Once I got on my path to personal growth, I read books and took a few courses, like Queen Bee Biz courses.  After attending a life-changing weekend personal growth course, I was astounded to discovered that I was was just at the very beginning of my journey to my joy. I had a long way to go and I did not want to spend a minute longer feeling limited, contracted and lost. I was ready to “To Bee all I can Bee”!

Meanwhile, my husband who was living his dream saw changes in me, he was starting to get worried about me. I was taking time for myself and spending money on myself. Something I had never really done before. I had a “give-it-your-all and ask for nothing” belief from my mother about you give everything to everyone else- because that’s what mothers do. Now here I was making decisions to spend a few thousand dollars on the next 7 day workshop in California. Yep-  I made the decision without him. It was very not like me at the time. I was changing right before his eyes! Happiness and fulfillment here I come!

The day after I had paid for this expensive course, my husband and I took a stroll around the block. We got into a serious discussion about me signing up for the course without speaking to him first. My husband had always been a generous but logical man. He was worried I was not making the right decision and that I did not discuss it with him first.  In our 25 year marriage, he was always the logical one and I felt he knew best with his logic. Here I was struggling to find my voice and explained my need to grow to become wise and wonderful woman. I wanted my life after forty and raising my kids to be a fabulous one! I was worth it!

Vicki continues her Journey to Joy!

We sat done on the curb under a shade tree and I started to explain what was happening to me. I told him I want to be happy and love myself. I wanted to have fun in my life. It was not that I was unhappy – I just knew it could be better. I did not know how. I had two over-forty role models in my life, my mother and his mother. With tears in my eyes, I continued, “My mother is unhappy and complains about everyone and everything when we are around. She has stopped dreaming and doesn’t seem too happy to me.” Then I shared, your mother as much as I love her, fights depression. Again, not the best role models for happiness after 40. I took his hand and looked into his eyes and asked him this. “Which one do you want to grow old with the grumpy one or depressed one?”  He was quiet. I continued,” I am working on myself, so I become neither! I don’t want my next 40 years feeling crappy.”  I just knew if I keep taking these course, like our “Bee Happy Online Course” , reading the books, and using the tools I was given I could be happy and fulfilled.  We could have fun and enjoy life together to the end.  Once he understood where I was coming from, I received his complete support.

If you are on your journey or ready to start your journey,  Cheri and I are here to support you in your journey before, during and after menopause.  We are here to remind you that your life isn’t over when the kids move out or you retire from a career,  you are just entering your second adulthood ( menopause years and more).  There is fun and fulfillment after forty, fifty, sixty and beyond!

Learn more about your happiness during menopause by viewing our FREE video series called The Happiness Gap!

Vicki Kallman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Cheri Hickman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for  24/7 happiness.

Life Coaching 101

 
I have been a life coach for nearly 10 years.  When I meet someone and share – I am a life coach, most of them become curious and immediately start asking me questions.  I would like to share with you 6 of the most commonly asked questions and my personal answers, so you can have a better understanding of the life coaching experience.

1)  What is a life coach? A life coach supports and motivates their clients in getting clear, getting organized and staying committed to their goals and their desires.  Much like an athletic coach, we want the best for our clients and are able to see our clients situation through a different pair of eyes, thus we are better able to see where the changes need to come from in order to put our clients on the road to success. Life coaches are not therapists.  We do not fix any one and we are not anyone’s mother.  We are someone you hire to guide and inspire so you stay committed to your success and achieve it.

2)  Who are your clients? Personally, my clients have come from every walk of life and have had various reasons for employing me.  Some need me to support them to stay focused to accomplish a business goal.  I have worked with several small business owners to stay motivated, organized, and focused.  I have worked with mothers who want to organize their schedule to experience more balance and joy in their lives.  I have even coached a busy workaholic couple so they could find time to have fun.  Yes, we scheduled in fun every week!  Many of my clients just want more balance in their lives.  Still, others do not know what they want and I work with them to discover their desires. Now I focus on before, during, and post menopause women. Cheri and I have been there and done that, so we are sharing what we have learned with as many women as are ready and willing to listen and learn.

3)  Is everyone coachable? My answer is no.  I do not work with everyone that wants to hire me.  I have to assess if the person is coachable.  I really don’t want to waste my time or theirs. I give them a short questionnaire to take before I accept them as a client.  They must fill it out and get it back me in a timely manner.  I also have them take their toilet paper roll currently in their bathroom and turn it to roll the other direction and leave it that way for two days or when the paper runs out.  Once we connect again after I have received the completed questionnaire, I ask them about the toilet paper roll exercise and if they kept it reversed for the complete time or not?  If they answer is yes, I work with them.  If it is no, I walk away.  If they could not do this simple exercise, then I feel they would not be open to follow through with the changes needed to stay committed to their goal.  Over the years, this method has worked well for me.

4) How do you work with the clients? We get together in person or via phone and I explain what is expected of them and what they can expect of me.  I have them sign a commitment type contract.  Here they commit to call me on time for the coach calls and to check in with me via emails on the days and time agreed on.  They also commit to be honest with me about doing what they said they will do during the week to achieve their goals.  Then we make a plan and create steps to take everyday and week towards their goals.  If a weekly task is not completed, then we work on why it did not happen and  take steps to remedy the matter.  My job is to motivate them to stay on their agreed path to success.  Like anything, you will get out of the experience what you put into it.

5) How do you choose a life coach? If you ever decide you would like to hire a life coach, feel free to shop around. Interview the different coaches.  Ask the coaches for referrals.  As much as many of us are alike, we all do our coaching a little bit different. Some coaches take certifications courses and some don’t.  It is up to you to decide if it is important for your coach to have a certification or not.  We also might have different philosophies.  I use my intuition when I am working with my clients which works for me. I like to work in three month increments whenever possible. I believe it takes at least 90 days for my clients to implement the changes they need to continue to achieve their goals and desires.

6) What does it cost? That varies from coach to coach.  We all have different pricing.  Some charge in the hundreds a month and others charge in the thousands depending what the coach wants to charge.  I create personalized coaching packages and price them according to the client’s needs.  Some coaches do flat rates.  I have my clients pay up front for my services.  I feel it encourages them to stay committed to their goals.

I hope this article on Life Coaching 101 has supported you in understanding the life coaching experience from my point of view.  I almost forgot there is one more question they ask, “Do life coaches have coaches?”  Some do and some don’t.  In my opinion, the good ones do!
 
Vicki Kallman is the co-founder of Queen Bee Biz. As a life coach and emotional releasing expert, she along with her business partner, Cheri Hickman, support women over 40 to Bee Happy before during and after menopause. They take you from Grumpy to Happy in 60 seconds! Click here for  24/7 happiness.